Heya Trashies!
This week its an outdoor challenge! Only three on a team but lots of scope for bone-crunching horror and death. I’m hoping the teaser of Ramsay getting his foot trashed is worse than it looks.
Oh, when I said last time I was re watching the X-files, it turns out I lied. I am in fact watching them for the first time – I thought I’d watched it but no, only two eps from season 1, four from season 2 and a few from season 3, then nothing – but my brain was convinced I’d watched it all bar the last season. Weird. The story line makes a lot more sense now though.
So we’re down to the best 6 junior home cooks in the country, this year. They’re cooking ‘Michelin star’ dishes at Gordy’s house. Addison and Amaya are the captains, and they pick:
Addison, Team Blue: Kya and JJ
Amaya: Team Red: Zac and Avery.
Amaya thinks that the whole competition hinges on who picks Zac, whilst Addison hones in on Kya, so its clear who the sprouts think are the main big hitters.
We cut to the kids being driven up to Gordy’s house in LA.
Its not minimalist, its a building site. Come and finish it.
Maybe the grey slabs of concrete remind him of home. His dog is called ‘King George’ and has the Union flag emblazoned on it’s collar.
Dogs. Terminally stupid.
It’s probably a safe bet that Gordy is not pro Scottish independence. Although if he’s named it George after the one of the original King George’s and not the new Prince of Cambridge, it should have Hanoverian flags all round it’s collar. Either way its not the Saltire, so he won’t be winning friends with the Scottish Nationalist Party.
So after some shots of Gordy relaxing in his expensive new home, we might expect to finally get to the challenge. They’re cooking some of Gordy’s recipes from his flagship London restaurant ‘Gordon Ramsay Restaurant’. His total bag of stars fluctuates up and down with the opening (and closing) of different places over time, but that’s his big one as it has the top mark of three Michelin stars. Whether Gordy has seen the hot side of a skillet in that kitchen for years is a different story.
The food is pan seared snapper for a starter, entree is venison loin with gnocchi. The master himself shows the kids how to cook the dishes, which they watch in awe and take notes. It might as well be magic for all that most of us would be able to do.
The Aim, Gordy’s Pan Seared Snapper
What I’d realistically achieve
It’s no mean feat the mini’s have in front of them, something which now dawns on Amaya. Avery however is upbeat as she’s comfortable with venison. Addison announces that this is all too hard even for adults and she’s only nine.
Keep it up Addison, and you’ll be lucky to get to 10.
They have 50 mins to get the starters out, then presumably another wodge of time for the mains. Gordy drops the interesting fact in that the guests aren’t aware the chefs are kids. Prepare now for sugar shock overload and mawkish coos when the guests find this out.
Amaya splits up the appetizer components among her team, where as Addison has each of hers cooking the entire dish. This opens up the ‘lack of consistency’ can of worms as each chef might to it right, but slightly differently to each other. Gordy seems to think its a good idea though and bollocks Amaya for doing it her way.
We get some fake drama building over Gordys reputation being on the line. They’ve been saying that way back since the very first Hell’s Kitchen, and the only thing that’s dented his rep is by giving up cooking to become a tv celebrity. Having said that, on top of his New LA home he sent 4 million quid on a house in Cornwall, so I can’t really fault his career choice.
Kya burns a portion of Snapper, and has to redo it. Yawn. Tosi then turns this into ‘The blue team are looking to Addison to lead them’. No shit Sherlock, as she’s the leader. Instead of leading though, she just badmouths them. Although in the name of balance, JJ is messing it up.
The guests are taking their seats, and really just look like rich people everywhere do.
Bastards.
Blue team ends up short of scallops, somehow, then a piece of fish. Again this is presented as JJ’s fault and not Addison’s, although does at least have the grace to say that as the captain it reflects badly on her.
There’s a mix of comments, some was good, some bad but as ever there’s no real guide as to who is ahead so far.
So its sixty minutes to cook the main/entree. Gordy gives Addison a pep talk, probably for the inevitable Masterchef ‘fight back from behind’ for Blue team. Although if I’m on anyone’s team, its the Grudg-child herself Kya, so I wouldn’t mind if Blue win. In fact I hope they do, or Kya is very likely toast.
Over on Red team there are arguments breaking out over cooking times, and Amaya is having a hard time keeping it together. Tosi gives her a pep talk, and they get it back together – although in the background, TG is helping with the cooking. Have Red incurred the auto-fail by requiring sub-chef TG’s help? It cuts away so fast it’s not certain.
The venison comes out of the ovens and that’s where the accident happens.
Uh-oh, this can’t end well
It doesn’t, he missed.
Although luckily some hot fat went down his socks, so it wasn’t a total loss. Gordy keeps it together and doesn’t yell and scream, although he clearly wants to and would if it weren’t kids. Sadly.
Amaya on Red has overcooked all her venison, after ignoring Zac and Avery telling her how to do it right. Gordy tells Zac to take over, and maybe they’re shaping up for a Zac/Addison finale.
On Blue, they’ve forgotten to replace the venison that JJ spilled on the floor.
You said get two more Venison,
you never said anything about cooking them!
JJ proving he’s incredibly literal. This has to be his swansong, even if he makes it to next week.
At least JJ can actually cook it so there is hope. Not for JJ obviously, but for Addison and Kya. He’s doomed. Kya and Addison both make it clear that he is to blame and its all on him. On Red, Amaya is copping all the blame. Just to top it off, Addison and Kya are singled out for praise.
Amaya is consoling herself that she tried as hard as she could, which sounds like an epitaph to me. My instinct is Red loses. In fact they’re making such a meal out of this (ta da!) that there won’t be a follow up challenge, just two mini’s getting canned?
One guest complains her venison was slightly overcooked.
Rich people problems
The mini-minis are presented and everyone is duly shocked and amazed that they’ve just been poisoned by a bunch of 8-12 year olds.
‘Hey isn’t that our kid?’ ‘Who knows, they all look the same to me’
There is wonderment all around, and everyone goes home happy. Possibly except Kya, as Gordon said he wanted to look at her passport. To prove her age, but not the most tactful joke if her family have just emigrated from Hong Kong.
Now, with only seven minutes left, I can’t see how they’re holding a follow up challenge. Especially as there is now an extended debrief of the teams. They each have no idea how the other team did, so its all pretty meaningless.
Guess who won?
Aw. My instincts were, as usual, entirely wrong. Worse, its almost certain Kya is out. And JJ, but after he tried to burn the skin off Gordy’s foot his fate was sealed. There is no extra challenge, its just Addison being waved on her way to glory. Maybe the producers just wanted to make her look like an underdog again. I just hope Kya finishes the job JJ started earlier on in setting fire to Gordy.
JJ says Zac will win, Kya says Adison will. That, in all likelihood, is the finale right there. Tough luck Avery and Amaya, you might as well pack up and go home now.
So next week its the semi-final. Of the kids left, I’d like Avery to win, so I’m prepared more disappointment next week. First though, I need to wade through the Masterchef Celebrity showdown and put that up. I’ll be all Masterchef’d out by Friday.
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